Bees
They were coming.
I had always knew it, after taking their honey they would stop at nothing to get it back. IĀ had to be ready.
I waited 15 minutes 30 minutes still they didn’t arrive-what was keeping them- I had to find out.
Trembling ,shaking, scurrying across the floor, I approached the hives,they were huge! How would I get in? Spotting a branch, I leaped towards it; hauled myself up ,I had to jump (If I wanted to find out where they had gone)…
Inside the hive,honey hung from the walls and ceiling. It tasted delicious but the bees were gone!
Really good Charlie loved the way you used I waited 15 minutes 30 minutes but… I think it would be good if you said gone in capitals to make it more interesting š š
Well done Charlie, I love the part when the character was waiting patiently for the bees to take revenge. The only thing I would change is you need to check your punctuation (you don’t need a capital letter for the start of the brackets and you’ve missed out a comma when it says “15 minutes, 30 minutes”).
Keep up the good work because it’s so interesting and entertaining!!! š