100wc Week #7 (21) Ollie and Marcus

Posted on 21st October 2020 by OllieMcKeown

As I was walking along the red , ancient, concrete I saw someone who I kind of recognised . She was wearing a golden ,fluffy Gucci jacket whilst on an electric scooter !She got of her scooter and danced to Jason Derulo .It must of been her favourite song because she wouldn’t stop when I tried to talk to her .So I went across the road and shouted “CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE ME A LIFT I FORGOT MY WALLET FOR THE BUS!!!” As soon as I saw her I recognised it was my cousin ,who I hadn’t see in five years. She ABSOLUETLY hated me …

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6 Responses to 100wc Week #7 (21) Ollie and Marcus

  1. JakeBeattie says:
    21st October 2020 at 14:27

    I really liked the part about the cousin and how you asked for money for the bus well done and how was she dancing

    from Craig and Jake

    Reply
  2. MarkussFilipovs says:
    21st October 2020 at 14:35

    Why is please give me a lift I have forgot my wallet for the bus in capital letters

    Reply
  3. JackSharpe says:
    21st October 2020 at 14:41

    that is class mate Jason Derulo maybe she was making a tiktok

    Reply
  4. Cath (Team100, Melbourne, Australia) says:
    28th October 2020 at 07:46

    Hello! I really like your story and the detail you have provided. You’ve painted a really good picture of what was happening. Your last sentence was such a surprise and worked really well. A couple of mistakes in using “of” that you might improve in future writing: It should read “…she got off her bike…”, rather than of, and “It must have been…” instead of “of”. Otherwise, I think it is a great story. Well done.

    Reply

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