100wc week#6[21] Markuss & Emily

Posted on 14th October 2020 by MarkussFilipovs

In the derelict haunted mansion I heard a strange sound it sounded  like a little  boy screaming . Then I hear some foot steps sounded loud like thunder. Then I saw it looked like a bloody dress. I saw a window open randomly. Then I looked up stairs and saw a person so I ran away . The girl went out side so I went up  . Then I went I heard the  boy scream again. But I  had to see what was in side the room . It was a boy trapped in a chair . Then the girl the came back in side so we jumped out the window…

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7 Responses to 100wc week#6[21] Markuss & Emily

  1. MiaClifford says:
    14th October 2020 at 13:34

    Hi Emily

    Reply
  2. CraigRobson says:
    14th October 2020 at 13:34

    well done I love this I like how the girl kept on coming back and trying to get you

    Reply
  3. MiaClifford says:
    14th October 2020 at 13:35

    Edit

    Reply
  4. GeorgeWarwick says:
    14th October 2020 at 13:41

    to much then

    Reply
  5. JenniferMiller says:
    14th October 2020 at 15:52

    It’s so good !

    Reply
  6. NiamhMeek says:
    21st October 2020 at 14:40

    you need to edit

    Reply
  7. Cath (Team100, Melbourne, Australia) says:
    24th October 2020 at 08:03

    Hello! Great opening to your story. Immediately, catches the interest of the reader. Your story is really quite scary. You have used some great descriptions. One thing I was taught when learning to write was that the word “then” is not always needed. Have a look at your story and read it without the “thens” and see what you think. I was amazed, when I did that. Well done and keep up the great writing.

    Reply

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