100wc week#7 NIAMH Szymon

Posted on 21st October 2020 by NiamhMeek

One day , there was a fluffy red scooter. The scooter would never rust and would never break . It was ridden by a little girl called Ella . She always liked going on her scooter, and playing video games . But one day she went to the shop and fell into some wet  concreate . She got up and started to yell and then she danced and danced and  danced . It was like she was brainwashed. Her hands were red from the fall ,and soon her friends came to her. They were puzzled but soon knew what happened. It was a mysterious, magical  potion……

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7 Responses to 100wc week#7 NIAMH Szymon

  1. RubyErskine says:
    21st October 2020 at 14:26

    its great but I ended up getting confused half way through

    Reply
  2. IslaWigham says:
    21st October 2020 at 14:27

    Hi good work but, Niamh has al capital letters for her name and a bit to many ellipsis dots

    Reply
  3. MiaClifford says:
    21st October 2020 at 14:27

    I love how you put that she was brainwashed and you have described the little girl

    Reply
  4. MiaClifford says:
    21st October 2020 at 14:34

    Niamh is all in capital letters can you change it

    Reply
  5. Admin says:
    21st October 2020 at 14:34

    I can see that you are trying to use the passive verb form Niamh and Szymon – I loved that wonderful attitude to your learning!

    Reply

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