When we were playing football our black and white ball went rolling into a pile of leaves. As we were going to retrieve our ball a huge mysterious, ancient looking castle appeared on top of the mist hill. Me and my friend called Ahmet were spending the night trying to find out how to get up to the top of the hill.
The journey began with us starting to craft a pack of food to take with us. On the way there we found dears and fluffy rabbits. We arrived! Ahmet got out his lunch and so did I and our journey ended
We like how you and Isla used loads of expanded noun phrases. Have a look at ours.https://longtownprimary.j2bloggy.com/Y5-100-Word-Challenge/wp-admin/post-new.php
its good come visit minehttps://longtownprimary.j2bloggy.com/Y5-100-Word-Challenge/100wcweek11rubyryan/
one thing is, is that you 2 forgot to use the word white but I love how you made it boy at the back of the class themed
we like this story
why not visit ours
https://longtownprimary.j2bloggy.com/Y5-100-Word-Challenge/100wcweek11-jennifer-maja/
Sos I didn’t notice that you had used the word white
Great use of complex sentences to make the story flow! I like that I could picture how each sentence led to the next in the scene. It’s interesting that there are deer and rabbits around an ancient castle. I do wonder if they were within the castle, in the courtyard, or perhaps just lingering around outside.
Keep up the good work, Isla and George!
good work