On my way home from school I passed a man that had something red on his hand. When I got home, I went into my room and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was like he had killed something. Something was seriously wrong with him.
The Next Day
I was walking to school with my friends and something weird happened. The man passed us again yet again with blood on his hands. We went into D.T. class and we found a pool of blood with the teacher laying on the ground dead with a bee and tiny men crying…
why were tiny people crying?
because the bee got killed and it was their friend
Congratulations on your collaboration on this week’s challenge Ruby and Ryan. It can be tricky to write a joint text. You created a interesting story. I liked your turn of phrase. You left me wondering about the man – his character, and circumstances. Editing for punctuation before publishing is important. Check your second paragraph- it seems to need some commas.
Thanks we will work on it