One day I was walking in the woods and found this ancient button. I thought I would press it but I was scared to press it so I rung a friend and asked if they would come so I am not alone. I waited and waited until I heard a sound getting closer ; I decided to hide but it was my friend! I popped out and scared the life out of him. I told him there was the button so he ran to press it. I shouted, “Stop!” I heard a massive bang coming closer I said hide we ran to a bush in the distance we got chased help…
Dear Jacob,
I enjoyed reading your challenge. You described your nouns, making it sound better. Your story perfectly portrayed a kid, who would be immature and scared. You could work on your grammar, “I am not” is not correct. “I would not” would be the correct version. Other than that, your story was great, keep up the great work.