100wc Week #7(21) Brayden&Alfie

One night there was a loud noise so I looked out my window and I saw a robber! He smashed a window and then he came out with a black fluffy bag . He danced on the concrete then got on his red scooter and was speeding away.  Next, the police arrived.  He was gone! Everyone was so scared so every night people locked there door for a year. One night I stayed up for hours waiting for the robber (he was back with his black fluffy bag) . But I went outside and went to look he was putting stuff in his bag he ran.

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2 Responses to 100wc Week #7(21) Brayden&Alfie

  1. OllieMcKeown says:

    The sentence everyone locked their doors every night for a year doesn’t make sense and can you put a couple commas in thanks

  2. James says:

    There are some interesting things happening in your story that I’d like to know more about, like why did they dance, and why was the bag fluffy. These details seem out of character so must be really important somehow.

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