Today was an unexpected day…
today was a horrible day the room right above me (attic) it happened when I was still a sleep then suddenly. My dad told me there was a crash in our roof somehow and we had to move house. I hope we find a house as soon as possible we need it the horrible thing was on the news and we needed a home so we asked our cousins if we could move in with them. They said of corse but you have to share rooms. When will we find a new house.
I really enjoyed the way you used the first person to make the reader feel as though they were there – excellent choice! You story is very practical and true to what would happen in real life.
Next time, read back through your work to check you haven’t missed any words out.
Keep up the great writing!